who are these people?

17 dots is the work of several employees at eMusic, a digital music service. It is by no means an official endeavor, and its opinions do not reflect those of eMusic. Rather, its opinions reflect on the ignorance of its own writers. If you would like to contact 17 dots or any of its contributors, click here to drop us a line. You can also follow us on Twitter.

And here they are.

THE REGULARS

J. Edward Keyes

Title Editor-in-Chief

What skill do you possess that you wish you could get paid for?
Someday, I’ll be able to collect a salary for generating puns; pitch me a movie premise, I will give you a punny title. Got a band? I can give you a punny name. Mr. Swellvedere. That one’s free.

What would a movie based on your life be called?
Ughnaught.

What did your parents almost name you?
“Little Mozart.”

On the Net:
Facebook

Sean Fennessey

Title Director of Merchandising

What skill do you possess that you wish you could get paid for?
Encyclopedic recall of the films of Stephen Tobolowsky.

What would a movie based on your life be called?
White Guilt

What did your parents almost name you?
Colin.

On the Net:
Facebook
Twitter
Split Infinitives

Maris Kreizman

Title Audiobooks Editor

What skill do you possess that you wish you could get paid for?
Strategic DVR-ing.

What would a movie based on your life be called?
The Maris Review.

What did your parents almost name you?
Mickey.

On the Net:
Facebook
Slaughterhouse 90210

PART-TIMERS

Sujan Hong

Title Senior Label Relations Representative

What skill do you possess that you wish you could get paid for?
Noodle eating and/or petting puppies.

What would a movie based on your life be called?
Tampopo II, starring Sonya Thomas as me.

What did your parents almost name you?
I don’t know, but definitely not Susan.

On the Net:
The Park Slope Gastronome
If You Want My Bocce

Molly Neuman

Title Director, Label Relations

What skill do you possess that you wish you could get paid for?
Drinking wine and making cheese plates.

What would a movie based on your life be called?
She’s Very Bossy: The Molly Neuman Story.

What did your parents almost name you?
Laura

On the Net:
Simple Social Graces
Simple Social Graces MySpace Page

Bryan Robbins

Title Quality Assurance Lead

What skill do you possess that you wish you could get paid for?
Sending noise through the meat grinder.

What would a movie based on your life be called?
Dreaming Dashes.

What did your parents almost name you?
Christopher, but they reconsidered as they thought I would be the subject of too many pooh jokes.

On the Net:
nonplus music
MySpace

Danny Stein

Title Chairman and CEO

.